


What tangled webs we weave (sometimes unintentionally)

by glass0marbles



Category: Dirk Gently's Holistic Detective Agency (TV 2016)
Genre: Attempt at Humor, Gen, Humor, M/M, Pining, Pre-Slash, it's mutual but Dirk doesn't know that
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-03-07
Updated: 2020-03-07
Packaged: 2021-02-28 20:22:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,816
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23053150
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/glass0marbles/pseuds/glass0marbles
Summary: Based on a prompt by my friend Kryox:they find a chord/thread that entangles them, every time they try to get loose it entangles them even moreThat's really only half the prompt, but the rest is a spoiler, so. You're gonna have to wait to find out about it.First of the Brotzly prompt fics I'm writing for folks on Tumblr and my very first fic in this fandom and on this new shiny account.Rated T for some cursing.
Relationships: Farah Black & Dirk Gently, Todd Brotzman/Dirk Gently
Comments: 13
Kudos: 27





	What tangled webs we weave (sometimes unintentionally)

**Author's Note:**

> So, here's my first ever fic for this fandom! It's gotten a little long for a 'short prompt fic', so I've decided to split it into two chapters for my own convenience and peace of mind.
> 
> Big thanks to Kryox for the super inspiring prompt, to Leigh for helping me through a pinch with this, and the lovely people on my DGHDA Discord server for keeping me inspired and motivated and helping me out when I needed to come up with odd topics for Dirk to ramble about.
> 
> Chapter 2 _should_ go up soon, it's about half-written, I'd say?
> 
> I'm sorry if any of the formatting looks weird, I'm still trying to figure out how to make things look nice on here.

There is a spring in Dirk‘s step as he makes his way back to the agency from his coffee run. Farah and Todd are waiting back at the office, they had drawn straws to decide whose turn it was to go to the coffee shop a few streets down to get hot drinks, and Dirk had drawn the shortest. Not that Dirk would have minded going in the first place, but he had indulged Todd and his mischievous grin when he had made the suggestion - he‘d probably cheated, honestly, even if Dirk hadn‘t the slightest idea how - and Farah had indulged them both by playing along.The weather was sunny and pleasant, so Dirk had enjoyed the walk. He‘d gotten the usual coffee - black for Todd, milk and just a little sugar for Farah - and a hot chocolate with lots of cream for himself. On his way out he‘d noticed a display with glazed strawberry doughnuts that he simply couldn‘t bring himself to ignore, so in addition to the palette of hot drinks he is carrying, a bag of pastries now swings from his arm as he strolls up the side walk, the sun and a smile on his face, quietly humming to himself.

It‘s going to be a good day, he can feel it. He says as much to the elderly lady he helps to cross the busy street. She considers him with a narrow gaze and doesn‘t let go of his arm even when they have reached the other side, continuing to stare at him instead. Dirk isn‘t sure how to react in situations like these, is he supposed to say something or... just pulling away and leaving would be rude, wouldn‘t it? Just when he resolves to asking the woman if there is anything else he can do for her she finally lets go. Dirk deflates with relief and starts to open his mouth for a quick but polite good-bye when she suddenly grabs his hand and pushes something into his palm, pressing his fingers closed around it. Dirk is so surprised that he gapes a bit, first at his fist, then back at the old woman who... who isn‘t there anymore. Dirk‘s head swivels around, trying to figure out where she could have gotten off to so quickly, scanning the passers-by for her small, hunched shape and bunched-up white hair, but she‘s just.. gone. Dirk stands there, dumbfounded, for what must have been a couple of minutes, at which point he is torn from his trance by a very unfriendly man bumping into him and demanding he should ‚watch where he stands‘.

By the time Dirk arrives back at the agency, he still hasn‘t thought to open his fist. He does though, when he reaches for the keys in his pocket and realises that he is still holding whatever the weird old woman had put into his hand, which is making grabbing something else from out of a narrow space at his side considerably harder. Finally unfolding his fingers reveals a small coil lying flat on his palm. It feels soft to the touch when he runs his thumb over it and it‘s coloured a rich red that eventually fades into a warm yellow. _Odd_ , Dirk thinks, pocketing it and exchanging it for his keys, _but appreciated_. The spring is back in his step as he lightly jogs up the stairs, knocking on the office door and unlocking it before sweeping in.

„Coffee‘s here!“ Dirk chimes.

„Took you long enough.“ Todd grumbles from the general direction of the sofa.

It‘s a sunny yellow and one of the many items Dirk has dubbed ‚the agency‘s pride and joy‘. Dirk can see Todd‘s legs hanging over the armrest in his peripheral as he sets down his purchases on one of the desks. It had taken surprisingly little to convince the others to buy this particular sofa, a fact that had perplexed Dirk at the time, but now mostly just gives him a warm fuzzy feeling when he thinks about it. And it _is_ a very nice sofa.

Farah shoots it a pointed look and smiles at Dirk.

„Thank you, Dirk.“ she says.

Dirk smiles back and picks up Todd‘s coffee. He makes his way over to the couch, leaning over the backrest and looking down at Todd who is sprawled out on the soft cushions, wearing that mischievous little smile Dirk loves so much. Dirk grins and dangles the paper cup over Todd‘s face.

„I don‘t suppose you‘ll be wanting this, then?“ he teases.

Todd reaches for the cup, but Dirk yanks it out of his reach.

„Uh-uh, what do we say to the kind man who brings us coffee?“

Todd rolls his eyes at him, but his smile doesn‘t fade.

„Thank you, Dirk.“ he drawls like a school child reciting salutations to their teacher and Dirk finally lets him grab his cup, secretly marvelling at the way Todd‘s eyelids flutter and he sighs softly when he sits up and breathes in the coffee‘s aroma.

Farah interrupts his quiet adoration by asking „So, what‘s in the bag, then?“

Dirk swivels around smiling brightly at her as he steps up to the desk and begins unpacking under her curious gaze.

„I“, he announces „have bought us some food.“

He sets down the box of doughnuts in front of her, opening the lid and immediately grabbing one for himself as well.

„Stawbewwy“ he clarifies around a mouthful of soft, melty deliciousness, groaning appreciatively at the sweet piece of heaven currently coating the inside of his mouth and _god, this is good_.

Farah shoots him an amused look as she picks up a doughnut and takes a bite, Dirk watching with glee as she chews and makes a small ‚mmh‘ sound, her eyes wide as when she nods at him in agreement.

„What is it?“ Todd calls from the sofa, having perked up at the promise of food.

„Strawberry doughnuts“ Farah calls back, her eyes already back on the screen of her laptop as she moves to take another bite.

Todd huffs.

„I don‘t like strawberry“ he complains, and Dirk rolls his eyes at Farah before digging into the bag from the coffee shop again, producing a smaller paper bag that he tosses at Todd, who yelps in surprise, but catches it nonetheless, miraculously without spilling his coffee. There is a soft rustling as Todd opens the bag, revealing what Dirk knows to be a chocolate chip muffin of the ‚less sweet‘ variety and one with blueberries.

„Thanks“ Todd murmurs softly and Dirk‘s eyes crinkle with a fond little smile.

„You‘re welcome.“ he says, a little smugly.

Farah looks at him and raises a perfect eyebrow, but Dirk just keeps smiling and brushes aside the unspoken conversation that just passed between them in favour of savouring the moment.

Farah is well aware of Dirk‘s feelings for Todd, Dirk knows, and is also well aware of why Dirk chooses to not act on them, is well aware that Todd is oblivious of said feelings and that Dirk, like the love-struck idiot that he is, still can‘t help pining and showering Todd with what he believes to be inconspicuous affection every opportunity that he gets. Of course it‘s only inconspicuous as far as Todd himself is concerned, Farah picks up on those things, and they‘ve had several conversations about the topic during all of which Farah had been quite sensible, and really, her concern for him touched Dirk, but Dirk had remained firm on his point that one-sided love that was reciprocated with friendship was better than one-sided love that wasn‘t reciprocated, or really no love at all.

„How do you know it‘s one-sided?“ Farah had asked.

„It doesn‘t matter“ Dirk had said, he didn‘t want to jeopardise what he currently had with Todd, with the agency, having people stick around for the first time ever.

„I don‘t want to lose that.“ He had said to her, pleading, and Farah had understood. That didn‘t keep her from worrying about Dirk hurting himself with his unrequited feelings and occasionally gently nudging him about talking about it. Dirk appreciated that. It helped, confiding in Farah, when he was feeling frustrated and lonely and stupid, it helped having someone there who understood the fear of being alone and who he could commiserate with. It helped listening to Farah‘s own troubles, learning about her past and laughing together about adventures in botched love affairs.

But Dirk chooses to push all of that aside now.

‚I‘m fine, I‘m happy,‘ his eyes say.

Farah considers him for a moment before giving him a cautious smile and a brief nod, returning her attention to work and the doughnuts.

* * *

By late afternoon they have managed to work through a fair amount of paperwork, fuelled by coffee, sugar and Farah‘s withering looks when either Todd or Dirk got too distracted bickering or playing weird little games with missiles made out of copy paper.

About half an hour ago Farah had left to get them an early dinner, this time insisting that she be the one to go out and get the food because ‚we are not having pizza for dinner _again_ ‘, at which both Dirk and Todd had rolled their eyes, but had known better than to talk back to her, lest they‘d end up having to actually cook for themselves.

Dirk is seated at his desk, feet up on the wooden surface and idly playing with the strange gift he received earlier that day. Todd is sprawled out on the couch again, his nose buried in a ‚Rebels‘ magazine. Dirk has given up on trying to make conversation with him after only receiving vague grumbly noises as a response for a while.

The little coil the old woman gave him turned out to be some sort of woollen thread, firm, but also soft. It‘s thick and made up of several smaller strands. Dirk has tried to tie it around his wrist, but it‘s just a little too short to make a proper knot, so now he just fiddles with it, weaving it between his fingers, wrapping it around them and pulling it back off. Until, suddenly, he can‘t. He tugs at the thread, currently attached to his middle finger, but it won‘t slide off like it did before. He sits up straighter, looking at his hand curiously. One of the smaller strands seems to have separated and somehow tied itself around his finger. He looks for a knot, but can‘t find one. He tugs again, but the thread remains firmly attached. His brow creases in frustration, an uneasy feeling settling into his stomach as he continues to pick at the small sling trapping his finger, but instead of coming loose it only seems to tighten, and before Dirk knows it, another piece of string has coiled itself around his right index finger, effectively stopping him from pulling his hands apart.

„Todd.“ He says.

Todd grunts in response.

„ _Todd_.“ Dirk says more urgently.

„Todd!“

Todd sits up and looks at Dirk over the back of the sofa.

„What?“

Dirk shows him his hands with a sort of helpless shrug, mild panic creeping into his expression.

Todd‘s eyes narrow and he leans further over the backrest.

„Dirk, what are you doing?“ he asks.

„Nothing!“ Dirk shoots back defensively, but now the curious thread has a hold on his thumb as well, and Dirk could _swear_ it has gotten longer. He‘s fairly sure there wasn‘t any green adjacent to that lovely shade of yellow before.

„I-- I‘m trapped.“ he flounders, waving his hands to emphasise, which has the undesirable effect of his fingers becoming even more tangled up in a mess of string that is now _definitely_ much longer than before, its colours spanning from red to yellow to green to a vibrant ultramarine blue. Dirk would be delighted, if it wasn‘t for his predicament of being positively tied up with the thing.

„What the _hell_?“ he exclaims.

Todd by now has made his way over to where Dirk is sitting, staring at Dirk‘s ‚situation‘ with a mix of curiosity and apprehension.

„A little help here, Todd?“ Dirk tries desperately, shoving his hands at Todd, who hesitates before sighing and taking a closer look.

„How did you manage that?“ he asks suspiciously.

Dirk just shrugs in response and gives him a pleading look.

„All right,“ Todd says, „let me see.“

He runs his fingers along the thread entangling Dirk‘s fingers, trying to figure out where it starts and where it ends, but he comes up empty. He tries to gently push one of the slings off of Dirk‘s finger, to no avail.

„Have you tried cutting it?“

Dirk perks up.

„That‘s a _brilliant_ idea, Todd! What would I do without you?“

He grins at him broadly before slightly tilting his head.

„You wouldn‘t happen to have any scissors at hand, would you?“

Todd gives him a look like ‚seriously?‘ and opens a drawer on the left side of Dirk‘s desk, pulling out a pair of scissors and smirking at Dirk triumphantly. Dirk rolls his eyes, unable to suppress a smile of his own, a mix of fondness and relief pulling up the corners of his mouth against his will.

„Yes Todd, I already praised you, now will you _please_ cut me loose?“

It‘s Todd‘s turn to roll his eyes now, but he gestures for Dirk to raise his hands and closes the scissors‘ blades around one of the pieces of string connecting them. Nothing happens. He tries again, this time angling the blades a little differently, but the result stays the same.

„Maybe they‘re dull?“ Dirk suggests.

„No..“ Todd says slowly. „They worked just fine earlier today.“

„Then maybe they just don‘t cut thread?“ Dirk tries again.

„Maybe.“ Todd says, but he doesn‘t seem convinced.

He tries using the scissors to saw at the thread a little, but doesn‘t manage to even so much as dislodge a fibre.

„Do we have a different pair around?“ Dirk asks.

„Yeah, probably.“ says Todd and moves to pull away, but doesn‘t get very far because a dark purple thread is wrapped tightly around his wrist, tying him to Dirk. Dirk‘s eyes widen.

„Oh no.“

„What the fuck?“ Todd exclaims.

He discards the scissors on the floor to tug at the strand.

„I don‘t think you should--“ Dirk starts, but it‘s already too late.

Todd‘s other hand is now firmly connected to his wrist.

Todd spits a string of profanities of impressive variety as he continues to fruitlessly tug and pull, only managing to entangle himself further in his fit. Dirk watches him silently, waiting for Todd to calm down enough to be able to safely address him again.

When he does, he turns to Dirk. He takes a deep breath, his face determined.

„Okay.“

Dirk looks at him expectantly.

Todd takes another moment before he starts speaking again. What the hell is this?“ he asks Dirk, indicating their hands with a jerk of his head.

„I don‘t know-- an old woman gave it to me when I was out getting coffee earlier.“ Dirk replies.

Todd raises an eyebrow at him.

„Do we really need to have the talk about not accepting gifts from strangers?“

„It‘s a bit late for that now, isn‘t it?“ Dirks voice drips with irony. „Besides, she didn‘t really give me a chance to decline.“

„What do you mean?“

„Well, one moment she was there, putting this-- this _thing_ into my hand, and then the next second she was just gone. Vanished.“

Todd stares at him.

„Dirk, that is _so_ suspicious.“ Todd sounds incredulous and kind of like he is scolding him, and it‘s making Dirk feel foolish, sitting there with his hands tied up with some sort of inescapable rainbow thread and now Todd is caught in this mess with him - literally.

„Yeah, well-- It‘s not like I could have _known_ , is it?“ he says defensively.

Todd looks at him strangely, as if he was going to say something, but thought better of it. Dirk‘s brow furrows. He has a hunch he knows what Todd was thinking.

„You _know_ it doesn‘t work like that.“ He says, an edge to his voice.

Todd looks taken aback, but he doesn‘t deny his train of thought. A dull ache settles into Dirk‘s chest and he inhales sharply. There‘s a flicker of panic over Todd‘s face up as he placatingly lifts his hands as much as possible with the little range that he has in their current state.

„Dirk, that‘s not--“ He pauses. „ _Dirk_.“

Dirk determinately doesn‘t look at him. Todd drops his hands and sighs.

„It‘s just... your sense of self-preservation is sometimes so.. _not there_. It‘s amazing, honestly.“ he says, huffing a small, awkward laugh.

Dirk feels some of the tension in his chest release and he chances a glance at Todd‘s face. Todd looks sincere and a little apologetic, a tiny crooked smile really pushing the puppy dog look to the max.

„I‘m just worried about you.“ he adds, softly.

Dirk deflates all the way. „Right,“ he sniffs, „sorry.“ He manages a wry smile of his own. „So, what do we do now? Get another pair of scissors or...?“

Todd makes a face. „I don‘t think that‘s gonna do much, honestly... but we can try!“ he adds quickly when he catches Dirk‘s expression.

„No, you‘re right.“ Dirk says. „Maybe we need something... stronger?“

„Ah!“ Todd exclaims.

Dirk looks at him expectantly.

„I left my pocket knife in my jacket! It‘s on the couch. Maybe it‘ll work!“ Todd sets off excitedly - or tries to, instead almost yanking Dirk off of his chair because their hands are still attached.

Dirk yelps in surprise and pain as the strings are pulled taut and cut into his skin.

„Oh shit, sorry!“ Todd sputters. „Are you okay?“

„Yeah, yeah. I‘m fine.“ Dirk replies, making an effort to compose himself.

Todd looks at him somewhat doubtingly and Dirk tries to reassure him with a nod that Todd returns before setting off again, this time more slowly, making sure that Dirk keeps up with regular glances in his direction.

Manoeuvering their way to the couch is much harder than initially expected and it takes quite a while until they sit down gingerly, awkwardly angled towards each other. Todd fumbles for his jacket, patting down the pockets first and coming up empty.

„Oh no.“ he groans. „It must‘ve been in the other jacket.“

„Well then, where is it?“ Dirk isn‘t ready to give up hope.

„It‘s at home...“ Todd shoots him an apologetic look.

 _Oh_.

Dirk isn‘t quite sure what to say. Of course he can‘t blame Todd for mistakenly having taken the wrong jacket, but he had rather hoped they‘d be able to free themselves in time for dinner. Awkward silence stretches between them while Dirk is trying to think of something to say that might console Todd, who is looking continuously more upset at having brought their hopes up only to end up crushing them again. The sound of a key being turned in the lock snaps them out of it.

„Farah!“ Dirk exclaims. His face lights up with hope.

Farah looks up in surprise at the overly enthusiastic greeting. Her face scrunches up in confusion as her eyes fall on Dirk, who is bending weirdly around Todd to peek at her from the sofa. She closes the door and sets down the bags of take-out on the floor before she briskly makes her way over to them. Dirk allows himself to sink back into a more comfortable position that is still far from being comfortable at all.

„What‘s going on--“ she starts, but trails off when she gets a closer look. Her mouth hangs open while Dirk blinks up at her with what he hopes is an innocent expression.

„How on _earth_ did you manage that?“ she finally exclaims, thrusting her hands forward to gesture at the mess of string restraining Todd and Dirk.

„ _No_!“ Dirk and Todd yell almost simultaneously.

Farah jerks back, still evidently very confused. Dirk can relate.

„You probably shouldn‘t get too close to that.“ he explains. „And we didn‘t _exactly_ get into this situation entirely by ourselves.“

Todd makes an exasperated noise and Farah‘s eye flick over to him, then back to Dirk, her eyebrows drawing up.

„It‘s... well. It‘s rather..“ Dirk is trying to grasp for the right words, but he can‘t seem to reach them in his mind.

„It‘s some kind of magic trap.. thing.“ Todd finishes for him.

Dirk shoots him a grateful look and nods at Farah enthusiastically.

„Okaaaay.“ Farah draws out the word as she always does when she‘s trying to make sense of a situation that‘s alien to her and Dirk‘s heart sinks a little. A fine mess that he‘s gotten them into again, isn‘t it?

 _Stupid_ , he thinks. _Stupid_.

Farah closes her eyes and draws a breath.

„Okay.“ She says again, this time more firmly, making an effort to gain control over the situation and her evident confusion. „So, first off-- no, actually, first off: _Where_ did you get that thing? _Who_ tied you up with it? Did-- did someone come in here?“

She scans the room with narrowed eyes before her gaze falls back on Dirk. Her eyes bore into Dirk‘s with such intense worry and scrutiny that he has to look away. Todd nudges him gently.

„Tell her.“ he says.

Dirk heaves a heavy sigh. „Well... remember when I went out to get us hot beverages and a treat earlier today?“

Farah nods.

„Something sort of... well, _odd_ happened.“

He starts by describing the events that led up to him receiving the coil of thread, that he kind of brushed it off as a nice gesture from a confused, but kind old lady (at which Todd gives him that incredulous look again, but Farah‘s glare shuts him right up) and how it turned out to be much more than he had bargained for.

Farah listens patiently.

„And that‘s how we ended up here.“ Dirk finishes his tale, his eyes searching Farah‘s face for any kind of reaction.

After a few moments of silent consideration she speaks up. „So, if I got this correctly... I can‘t try to help you or I‘ll get tangled up as well, right?“

Dirk nods solemnly.

„Have you tried finding a knot? Like, the place it got tangled in the first place?“

„There isn‘t one.“ Todd says before Dirk can reply.

„Are you _sure_?“

Todd groans. „Yes, we‘ve checked thoroughly. Cutting it with scissors didn‘t work either, like Dirk said.“

Farah considers this for a moment, then she reaches into her back pocket and pulls out a small flick-blade knife. She gingerly deposits it in Todd‘s lap, taking care not to get too close to the tangle of string between him and Dirk.

„Try this.“

Todd has to fumble around a bit before he manages to open the knife and fumbles some more to position it under a string connecting his and Dirk‘s wrists. He lifts his gaze to Dirk‘s eyes, who nods encouragingly, tense with anticipation.

Todd pushes the blade against the string and Dirk‘s heart skips a beat only to sink again in disappointment when it becomes evident that the knife is just about as efficient as the scissors were.

Farah just nods, as if she had been expecting this result. „Okay, to summarise: We‘re dealing with some sort of... _magical_ type of thread that is uncuttable, as far as our immediately available knives and scissors go anyway, and has no visible knots making it seemingly impossible to untie. We have no idea where exactly it came from and how to track down the person who gave it you.“ She looks at Dirk, who nods again, silently chewing on his lip. The way Farah puts it the situation really seems quite hopeless and he is growing frustrated not only with himself, but also with the universe for not even giving him the slightest sign that something was off.

This has got to be a new case, then, hasn‘t it? But how is he supposed to solve a case all tied up? Even if the case is solving how to untangle this damn thing, it still would help tremendously to have free use of his hands and be able to move around independently. Not that he doesn‘t enjoy the close proximity to Todd - quite the opposite actually - but Dirk thinks that literally being tied together is taking it a bit far.

„Wait-“ Todd interrupts his train of thought. „You said _seemingly_. Does that mean you have an idea?“

Dirk‘s head shoots up. How didn‘t he pick up on that?

Farah looks a little uncomfortable with both of them staring at her so intently. „Well... maybe.“ she says. „I had a couple of thoughts, actually.“

They spend the next couple of hours following up on Farah‘s ‚thoughts‘, some of them getting them even more tangled up, like her suggestion to feel along the string for invisible knots they might be able to pry open, others are completely without effect. In-between they manage - with Farah‘s help - to eat some of their dinner.

When all of their patience is stretched thin enough to snap, Farah finally decides to call it a night. She massages the bridge of her nose with two fingers and takes a deep breath. „Okay, _clearly_ we need some research, we‘re not getting anywhere like this.“

Instead of answering Todd‘s question how she expects them to get home like this, she walks over to a supply closet and pulls out two light blankets, putting one around their shoulders and spreading the other on their lap while Todd stares at her incredulously and Dirk shifts awkwardly, shooting her pleading glances. The way Farah‘s lips tighten tells him that she sees them, but she ignores his puppy eyes persistently, only fixing him and Todd with a stern look when she steps back again.

„You don‘t seriously expect us to spend the night here?!“ Todd sounds about as comfortable with the situation as Dirk feels, albeit probably for different reasons.

„Yes, I do.“ Farah replies simply.

Todd opens his mouth to argue, but she shuts him up with a gesture and a glare. „I‘ll be back tomorrow morning with more information. You two should try to get some rest, today‘s been... eventful.“ She gives Dirk one more reassuring nod before she leaves, turning off the lights with a final „ _Rest_.“ and the door shuts behind her with a click.

It‘s not entirely dark with some of the street lamps casting their light through the window and Dirk can just make out some of Todd‘s features, not enough to decipher his expression, but he knows Todd is not looking at him. They sit there in silence, unmoving, until Dirk can‘t take it anymore.

„I‘m sorry about this.“ he says quietly.

Todd raises his head and turns toward him. „What? No, Dirk, I‘m-- I‘m not mad at you.“

„Okay“, Dirk says „good.“ He‘s doesn‘t know what else to say. _He_ is pretty damn mad at himself, it‘d be only natural for Todd to feel the same way. The quiet is pressing in on him and worsening his anxiety as he racks his brain for conversation topics. Dirk suddenly remembers an animal documentary he saw recently. There was this bit about defensive behaviours, the memory of which is now forcing himself into his mind as an afterthought to his emotional turmoil.

„Did you know that hagfish produce massive amounts of slime when scared?“ he blurts out.

„What?“ Todd sounds thoroughly taken aback. _Great start_.

„It‘s lucky I‘m not a hagfish, right?“

Silence.

„You know, with all the scary situations we get into...“ Dirk laughs uncomfortably.

„Yeah, I kinda got that.“ Todd says flatly.

„And cuttlefish,“ Dirk continues „can rapidly change their colour and even body shape to blend in with the environment when they feel threatened.“ Becoming one with the couch sounds great right now, but it wouldn‘t do Dirk much good since it‘s dark anyway and he‘d still technically be there. He decides to make like a rhino and barrel straight ahead instead. „Now potato beetles sound like fairly pleasant fellows, don‘t they? But their larvae actually cover themselves in their own--“

„ _Dirk_.“ Todd interrupts him sounding exasperated.

Dirk bites his lower lip. „Yes?“

„I‘m _really_ not mad at you. You don‘t need to make obscure conversation to entertain me or whatever.“

„But.. I dragged you into this mess.“ he says tentatively.

„ _Technically_ , I got myself into it.“ Todd retorts.

„But you got yourself into it trying to help me.“ Dirk persists.

„Wouldn‘t be the first time.“ Todd says lightly. „And I doubt it‘s going to be the last either.“

That doesn‘t make Dirk feel any better.

„Come on.“ Todd lightly bumps against him. „We should try to get some sleep.“

Dirk seriously doubts that he‘s going to get any sleep.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading! Comments and kudos are both very appreciated! ♥
> 
> [My DGHDA playlist on YouTube](https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLLBLAni2V3IJ-fBtizJLagVlEYtn30CCq)
> 
> [My DGHDA playlist on Spotify](https://open.spotify.com/playlist/0XP26jZlgoYcr69kRPbeFM?si=CGuWAtfBStKejwh7Hwvmmg)
> 
> [DGHDA Discord](https://discord.gg/ZaRqFM4)


End file.
